Waking Moments
by Cat Silver
Summary: Inuyasha is dead." Kagome winced as the words filtered through her mind. Could it be true? //Fluff: Kikyo/Kagome, Inuyasha/Kagome, Hojo/Kagome, and Sango/Miroku.//
1. Lost Forever

Her breath quickened and she could feel her heart beating wildly in her chest. Inuyasha stood over her. Pinning her to the wall. She gasped as he came at her with an indiscernible look in his eyes, his lips molding around hers and drawing her in.

* * *

Kagome sat up shaking the twisted sheets from around her body where they had pinned her to the bed. She brought a hand to her forehead, and wiped away the slight sweat that had beaded there in her nighttime struggles. Slowly, as if her hand had a life of it's own it trailed down to her mouth. She could feel his kiss still, pressing against her mouth.  
  
'It was a dream.' She spoke sternly but silently to herself, brushing her beautiful black hair and staring at herself in the mirror. 'Or maybe a nightmare. He's gone-' even her inner voice choked as tears sprang to her dark brown eyes. He was gone. How she wished that those words had been upon her. How she wished they would never come to her lips. How she wished he were still there, waiting to take her home with him. To see his smirk, to look into his amber eyes, and watch his silver mane brush past her as he carried her. It would never happen again.

* * *

Inuyasha had died in battle, one of the few ways he would want to go. 3 demons had besieged him and he had failed to see the blow coming until it- she shook her head trying to rid herself of the memories of his death. To forget how sad and frightened his eyes seemed when they fell on her. That was before they had closed, forever.  
  
She had been torn away from the demons by her friends, her Miko Aura blasting hot enough to scald Miroku's hands when he drug her away from the steaming bodies. The Hate and pain she had felt were overwhelming. Inuyasha form looked so small crumpled on the ground; she had destroyed his murderers so quickly they never even saw the attack that ripped them limb from limb.

* * *

Inuyasha was gone. She hated herself, if only she could have stopped them from hurting him. If only they hadn't used her as bait to draw him there. She wiped the tears from her eyes and put on her uniform. Used to the dull repetition of reality, which soothed her. She grabbed her bag and walked out of the front doors of her home, determined not to let anyone see the pain that coursed through her body.  
  
She focused on her steps instead of where she was going and ended up at the well. She realized her mistake and clenched her eyes shut as the pain swept through her again and turned from it. She couldn't return to them now, not until, not until something happened. She trudged her way under the overcast skies, the skies that echoed her pain as the rain started to fall. 


	2. Broken Memories

_"As long as they think there is a reason, it will work."_

She felt invisible as she walked through the halls of her school, her hair drenched from the downpour. The mass of students seemed faceless, and uncaring in the face of her despair. She held her books close to her chest; amazed she had remembered them in the daze that filled her days. Someone bumped into her; she had stopped without realizing it. She didn't look up, or apologize to the person; she just stood there wallowing in her grief.

The person didn't move, "Kagome? Is something wrong?" The warm friendly voice melted over her, it dimly registered within the catacomb of her mind that it was Hojo. She suddenly felt too tired so stand, she fell forward slightly leaning against him. He seemed surprised as he found himself standing there in the middle of a crowded hall, with Kagome in a dead faint, leaning against him.

She woke to the feel of someone stroking her hand. Her eyelids were too heavy to move, let alone her body so she just lay there, listening.

"Is she okay?" she recognized the voice of Yuka. She sounded worried.

"The nurse said she just needed sleep," Hojo muttered, they had no idea what she was going through. Not even the slightest clue of the pain.

"We'll go now, if she wakes up tell us?" the questioning tone seemed unnatural for Ayume. Kagome kept her eyes closed willing her self back asleep.

"Get well soon Kags," said a whispered voice at her ear, Eri, she soon realized as the sound of the threes feet clicked their way out of the tiled room. Hojo sighed next to her and stopped stroking her hand, she felt his hand brush something from her face, by the coolness where it had lain she supposed it was a lock of hair. Even then she didn't move, her body felt unnaturally tired, as if something were drawing on her life force. She moved back into the dark of a deep sleep.

He was holding her close, his breath on her ear, his warmth surrounding her. She could see every detail perfectly. His claws were wrapped gently around her, light against her stomach. His beautiful hair cascaded by her shoulders and over his red clothing; she could even hear his heartbeat. He was nibbling at her neck, sweet as could be. His breath felt so warm on her neck, it made her hairs rise on end. She shivered when he chuckled, feeling the dark warmth like hazelnut, or dark chocolate, running though her.

"Kagome," his voice seemed so far away, as if reaching her through the mist of time. She looked down seeing he was fading. She reached for his hand and she passed right through him. She looked up at him, and recognized his look; it was the same one he had given her as he died. She tried to touch his face but her arms felt so heavy. Then he was gone again, leaving her to herself.

Her eyes opened slowly, getting used to the florescent lighting that surrounded her. She could see she was in the nurse's office now and tried to sit up. She felt sick to her stomach and wrapped both arms around herself. Hojo woke up when she tugged her hand free from his grip and gazed at her. It finally struck him that she was crying. He was on his feet in an instant wrapping his arms around her. What had happened to her? What could have done this to Kagome?

Kagome finally pulled free of her sobs, noticing someone was holding her. She opened her eyes and the sliver of hope was dashed to bits. It was only Hojo. She settled against him, her sobs now silent as he held her to him.

"Kagome, what's wrong?" Hojo asked looking a bit confused. Kagome stared at him, the slightest bit of a smile reaching her lips at his naive gaze.

"He's gone," she struggled with the tears that threatened to spill, which burned her eyes until she was forced to close them. Hojo stroked her hair and she realized that that wasn't enough.

"He's…dead," the tears finally rolled free, sliding down her cheeks and dripping onto his arms. She gave a dry sob and flinched at the sound of his gasp. He knew someone she knew was dead. That was enough, she couldn't tell him more if she wanted to. But saying it out loud to Hojo made it seem so final. She locked herself away again. Her gaze fading as she focused herself inwards. Blatantly ignoring everything outside of her. She didn't want anymore contact.

Never again.

Miroku watched the well from his vantage point outside the village. The grass of summer twisted in the breeze, rippling past in an ocean of green. Bits of foggy gold flecked it here and there, betraying the flowers that graced the land. Where was Kagome? They needed her back, and Inuyasha couldn't fetch her this time. Shippou and Sango were waiting for him back at the village hopefully with Kagome. They all were waiting for Keade's return from a quest she had taken with several of the young males of the village.

Miroku sighed and leaned back with a jangle from his staff, letting himself fall into the thick grass that surrounded him. Dust motes and small moths darted up from around him taking off in flight to find a new place to rest their days away. He gazed at the sky as white clouds scudded past. Everything was too quiet without Kagome, and she needed to know, she needed to be here for them. A yellow butterfly flew past him; landing on a thick stalk of grass which bowed under even it's tiny weight.

"Come home Kagome," he whispered to the sky.


	3. Betrayal of Loss

_"The betrayal of death is the worst of all."_

__   
  
She sat in her room, quiet except for her breathing. She'd been there for three days, accepting food only when someone forced her to eat it. Her eyes were lackluster and her hair was losing its shine and becoming dingy. Nothing felt right to her anymore.  
  
The Birds outside her window were chirping happily, how dare they when her heart was so heavy? The sun filtered into her room, how could it when her days were so gray? The Pink of her bedspread seemed to bright, so she stripped it off and stuffed it under her bed, lying only on the clean white sheets. The tree outside her window reminded her of him. She couldn't stand it; she had to talk to someone who understood.  
  
She stood and looked out the window, blinking at the light. She felt dizzy at standing up so quickly and stared at the well house. But she couldn't stand any longer. She collapsed on her bed. Curling up. And crying herself to sleep again. She was only happy when she was asleep.

* * *

His hand curved around hers, holding it tightly as he looked down at her expectedly. She was smiling, a sense of happiness filling her very being making her tingle. He pulled her closer and bent down, capturing her mouth in his. His skin tasted like light sweetness, almost a marshmallow, almost mint. She pulled back giggling and his expression changed to that of guilt. He pulled her into his arms unexpectedly but she didn't mind. She was happy.  
  
"Come home," he whispered, and she felt wetness on her shoulder. She pulled back to find him crying. His amber eyes filled with the sadness her had when he... No! He couldn't be! Inuyasha! Everything faded away from her, the bright spring day, Inuyasha, nothing was real, and she was plunged back into the darkness.

* * *

She awoke with a gasp, as if she had been holding her breath. Someone was there, at her door knocking. She groaned and sat up, ignoring the tears that fell down her face.  
  
"Come in," she called softly, hoping it wasn't loud enough for them to hear. The door swung open and Hojo peeked his head inside, his body followed and in his hands was a bundle of flowers. He smiled sheepishly at her and hurried to wipe away the tears. He sat on the edge of her bed, and offered the flowers to her. She took them a bare smile tracing her lips. He came everyday now, bearing gifts for her. He was the only ray of sunlight she had in the world now.  
  
She leaned forward and hugged him tightly; cutting him off as he told her all the medicinal uses of the beautiful flowers he had just given her. He seemed startled but hugged her back, stroking small circles along her spine. She breathed in his scent, lavender and all sorts of other herbs, one of the herbs stung her nose slightly making her want to sneeze. It reminded her of Inuyasha, the way he smelt of forest and cinnamon. Her brow creased and she held on to Hojo tighter, tears dripping past her cheeks.  
  
He rocked her back and forth, as she sobbed quietly, she missed Inuyasha so much. She needed to see him again, and not in her dreams. A thought struck her, if she died would she, it was hope and it was all she needed.  
  
She talked with Hojo a while about silly useless things that she would have welcomed otherwise. In a time she grew distant and he left, promising to return. She gave him a knowing smile and he left waving to her from the window. Her eye caught the well. I'm going back.

* * *

Sango perched near the well. Unknowingly close to where the monk had stayed during the day, crickets were chirping back and forth around her. The scent of warm rich wet earth was everywhere, musty and good at the same time. She smiled up at the sky, thanking it for the blessings they had received. If Inuyasha had been able to he would have set out just like this, waiting for Kagome. Under her arm Shippou slept, his tail curled up around his nose and his arms around it, sucking him thumb as he dreamed his pleasant dreams.  
  
She stroked his head, watching the well for any sign of movement, needing to go back to the slumbering village with Kagome in tow. Like Inuyasha would have done. There was a scratch near the well and her eyes flicked towards her, her hope rising. Kirara pounced upon a cricket near the well, letting it go and repeating it. Sango sighed and watched for Miroku to take the watch that morning.

* * *

__

_S. Wooz - -(this.is.a.heart.for.you)- You'll love the ending. Just keep an eye out for Chapter Five._


	4. Last Desires

_"To need is worse than wanting. It eats you up inside."_  
  
He was a good kisser, his tongue sliding around her mouth searching every crevice and nook. They kissed for what seemed like eternity, the heat rising in their bodies and they ran their hands over each other, rumpling hair and clothing. She broke free, her lips swollen and her eyes dazed and they both panted for air. His eyes were lidded as he gazed at her lustfully.  
  
"I need you to come back to me," he whispered, trailing a finger along her collarbone. She shivered, against his touch and pulled him close, idly rubbing at his dog ears making his smile in amusement.  
  
"I'm here," she smiled as they fell back, Inuyasha laid there watching her as she laid on his stomach. Her hand traced an unfamiliar scar on his neck and memories darted through her mind. The blood splattering past. His eyes. She screamed and buried her head in his chest where he stroked her back comfortingly.  
  
She awoke in her room gasping for air she found herself laying with her pillow over her head. Alone again.

* * *

Kagome made her way quietly to the wall, devoid of anything but the clothing on her back. No one knew where she was going and she was completely fine with that. She had washed herself thoroughly last night, making her family think she was coming out of the rut she had been in. None of them knew Inuyasha was dead.  
  
She hurried to the side of the well, standing in the house and watching the first streaks of light cresting the hills and trees around her home. She smelled the pine and listened to the birds chirping back and forth. She couldn't believe this would be the last time she saw her home. She ducked her head and jumped into the well. Disappearing into the purple light, watching the bubbles that surrounded her. It was the last time she would ever jump through the well.  
  
Her knees came to rest on the gravel, she ignored the dry bones that crunched underfoot and looked around for the rope ladder she had set up. She slowly hoisted herself free of the well, thinking to herself how simple it would have been to stab herself and die in the well. She peered over the side of the well, her brown eyes watchful for anyone nearby. She pulled herself free and started walking East, away from the village.

* * *

Miroku and Sango passed each other while changing posts. Sango looked so tired, her eyelids were dropping from the long night. Miroku stopped her for a moment and hugged her gently nuzzling sweetly at her hair.  
  
"See you next shift," he whispered releasing the surprised girl and taking off towards the well before dawn. Sango was startled enough by his sudden warm hug that she made it back to the village and into the hut that the group had been staying in while they waited for Kagome's return without falling asleep on her feet.  
  
Miroku slipped back into his spot, it was starting to become flattened by constant use. He settled down for the long day stretching and yawning. Little did he know that Kagome had already come and gone on her way.

* * *

Keade returned home that night, the young men with her weary from traveling without their steeds. They carried the large amounts of herbs the old lady collected once a year. They smelled sweet from the herbs they carried and Lady Keade seemed younger as she dropped from her horse. One of the young men helped her down and smiled as she took charge and directed the young men to stay quiet and stay out of the sickroom. They each smiled knowingly and hurried to put down their packs and go home.  
  
Sango was fast asleep when Lady Keade sat by the fire. She decided not to wake the young warrioress and instead made herself a cup of tea from the fresh mint, and went to help the patients in the other room.

* * *

Kikyo glared down at Kagome, watching her make her way over through the treacherous area. The Young girl stumbled scraping her knee; she bit her lip and continued to climb towards Kikyo. The Shinigami swirled down, captivated by the smell of blood, they lapped at her knee as she stood there, unsmiling, and unnervingly like her predecessor.  
  
The sadness in their eyes joined the pair. Kikyo slowly drew herself from where she rested in the tree limbs, the Shinigami helping her make her way over to Kagome. They stood staring at each other, each vying for control.  
  
"Please Kill me," even Kikyo was startled by the girl's plea. What had happened to make Kagome act so downright betrayed? She kept a straight face and reached out to touch Kagome's face. The girl did not shrink back.  
  
"Kill me so I can be with him," she whispered, the tears started to flow again and Kikyo stared at her long and hard.  
  
"I shall not." She proclaimed, her voice soft, yet as cutting as a razor. Kagome flinched and settled on the ground. Picking her way around the rocks to find a spot she could sit she looked up at Kikyo.  
  
"Then I will wait for death." She seemed so calm, but Kikyo gave her a sad but knowing smile. Kagome eyes were closed so she did not know what Kikyo was doing, and yet she didn't seem to mind. She was welcoming death with arms open wide.  
  
"Tell me," Kagome opened her eyes to look at the Priestess who perched near her on a large rock. She had questions in her eyes and Kagome had to answer them. She smiled tirelessly, before she launched into the story of Inuyasha's death...

* * *


	5. Final Memories

_"Knowing is sometimes worse than ignorance, and is doubly worse than death if your knowledge is untrue."_  
  
Kikyo listened to Kagome; it was perhaps the best thing that could happen for her. She spilled her story to the other girl, obviously expecting to die soon enough. Kikyo comforted Kagome with her silence, her knowing gaze. She'd seen this all before, she'd seen him die and had followed him in death.  
  
Kagome sobbed into her chest as Kikyo daintily held her close, no pretense of care, she just held her because she was there.  
  
"He's not dead," Kagome drew back in surprise, Kikyo merely smiled, "If he were dead I would know it." Kagome held her breath, hope streaked through her at Kikyo's words, even if she had not intended them to help. She just told the facts now, never muddled with any feeling but hate and pain. Kagome struggled upright; a lone Shinigami supported her as she stood.  
  
"He's not dead?" she whispered, Kikyo watched Kagome's eyes, they had a new sense of light, of purpose of determination. She was living through Kagome; she was giving the girl a chance and giving herself one at the same time.  
  
Kagome turned to leave before turning back and hugging Kikyo. Kikyo was never much for public displays of affection and was momentarily stunned as Kagome ran off through the forest back home, her feet seemed light as she laughed. Several Shinigami followed her, streaking past and dancing with her. Kikyo returned to the tree, to wait for her chance to take Inuyasha with her. But not yet.

* * *

Kagome stumbled into the clearing of the well, Miroku spotted her and waved. He seemed cheerful, maybe Kikyo was right? She reached Miroku and he led her back to the village. She remembered her dreams then, and sobered up. Maybe this was just another dream. Maybe when she saw him he'd fade away again.

* * *

Inuyasha rolled on his stomach, ignoring the horrid pain that lanced through the side of his neck. His hair had been sliced shorter on one side during the attack, and the other side had been clipped to match it. He didn't mind he'd grow it back. What worried him was Kagome, he had tried to go through the well to fetch her, but found the barrier blocked. Miroku and Sango had drug him home, and told him they would watch for Kagome when she returned.  
  
He breathed shallowly, the room felt so hot, he needed a breath of cool air. But to move was to risk the wound tearing free again. He could not bare to lay in that room for another week or 3, so he waited, waited drifting off into sleep.

* * *

He awoke when he smelled her, he launched himself forward from the bed, injuring his neck but he didn't care, he smelled Kagome. He couldn't stand properly so he waited with bated breath to see his Kagome. He watched the door, staring and knowing she had to come through it soon.  
  
The door moved aside and she stood there, her black hair drifting over her back and her too small uniform showing too much skin for this day and age. Her beautiful dark brown eyes were full of tears, which overflowed when she saw him and she ran to his side, throwing her arms around him. There was a rush of warmth flying through both of them as Inuyasha hugged her tightly to himself ignoring the pain in his neck. He breathed deeply of her scent, convinced he'd never smell it enough.  
  
"I couldn't get you Kagome. The well was sealed," he whispered letting her move back some, but not letting her go. His eyes reflected only a bit of the sadness and frightened glaze as they had when he had been injured. But now they were full of happiness as he gazed at her. She closed her eyes, thinking of all the ways it could have stopped working, perhaps it knew she thought he was dead, and it had sealed the link.  
  
"I've been waiting for this," he growled softly, almost a purr and pulled her kiss up and kissed her. He savored her taste in his mouth, sweet as the smell of a rose. He dragged her deeper into it and she was only too happy to follow. Finally it was real. They broke apart slowly.  
  
"Welcome home," he whispered nuzzling her ear. She tensed up and he pulled away to watch her.  
  
"What?" he asked, she seemed scared, and her eyes darted back and forth as if she expected something to go wrong. She watched him, waiting and reached up to touch his face. When she did she sighed in relief.  
  
"Thank Kami you're still here," she pulled him into another kiss, momentarily disrupting his expression of confusion. He was only too happy to oblige her.  
  
**_-The End-_**


End file.
